John Brown Wax Museum

John Brown was an American abolitionist who believed that armed rebellion was the best way to overturn slavery. He advocated for action over talk, and in 1856, Brown and his supporters killed five pro-slavery settlers in the Pottawatomie massacre in Kansas. He’s best known for leading a raid on the federal armory at Harpers Ferry, Virginia (now West Virginia), where seven people were killed and ten were injured when Brown tried to arm slaves with stolen weapons. He was captured and tried for treason against the Commonwealth, murder and inciting a slave rebellion—he was found guilty on all counts and hanged.

The raid at Harpers Ferry may have helped fuel the fire for the South's secession from the Union a year later and the Civil War that followed. Brown’s position in history is still controversial, with some people seeing him as a hero while others label him a terrorist. Another distinction that Brown has is that he’s one of only two historical figures to have a wax museum exclusively devoted to his story (Jesus is the other one).

The John Brown Wax Museum opened in Harpers Ferry in 1963. The museum is located in a building that actually existed in 1859 during Brown’s raid, and the block on which it stands became a protected National Historical Park shortly after the museum opened. Harpers Ferry is a cute little historical town, with some restaurants, shops and a train station.

I adore old wax museums, and I just had to see one entirely devoted to a somewhat obscure historical figure. We were driving from Gettysburg, and I was afraid that we weren’t going to make it to Harpers Ferry before the museum closed at 5pm. We pulled up the museum at 5:01 and I nearly pushed my mom out of the car in front of the museum so I could find parking.

After circling the tiny town for what seemed like forever, I finally found a spot and literally ran to the museum. When I burst in the front door, the woman at the front desk had already graciously decided to stay open long enough for us to see the ten or so dioramas. “You’re my last customers of the day,” she said—although from the looks of things we may have been the only customers of the day.

The 87 life-size figures are wonderful in their detail, and the entire museum feels like a time capsule from the ‘60s. There are handpainted signs, creaky steps, crude animatronics, cobwebs and a lot of dust, much like you’ll find at the Salem Wax Museum, the House of Frankenstein in Lake George or Niagara’s Wax Museum of History. It’s a little bit educational, a little bit creepy, and exactly the kind of thing worth speeding to get to while it’s still—somewhat improbably—open for business.

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John Brown Wax Museum
168 High Street,
Harpers Ferry, WV 25425
Parking at the train station behind the museum

Farnham Colossi

When my mom and I returned from our South of the Border road trip last year, I discovered that we had been literally ten minutes away from the Farnham Colossi. I obsessively scan maps on Roadside America and elsewhere to plot my road trip destinations but this area has so many states so close together—West Virginia, Virginia, Maryland and Pennsylvania—that I hadn’t thought to check a WV map. The Farnham Colossi is located in Unger, West Virginia, just over the border from Virginia, and it shouldn’t be hard to see why I planned our entire August road trip around it.

The Farnham Colossi, also called the Farnham Fantasy Farm, is located on the private property of George and Pam Farnham. George, a former DC lawyer, moved to West Virginia in the 1980s. Both George and Pam are collectors—the house and garage are filled with old magazines, nudie calendars and naughty hot sauce bottles. They both also share a love of “big things” and they bought their first Muffler Man on eBay from a Midas muffler shop in California. He’s the first Muffler Man I’ve seen that is actually carrying a muffler, which—despite the name—seems to be rare.

It turns out that rural West Virginia is the perfect place to have a strange collection, "You live in West Virginia and you have no zoning—nobody can say anything!" George says. "So we can get away with it and nobody cares." In 2005 they came across Brian, a "beach dude" statue for sale in Cincinnati. He so big—taller than the 25-foot-tall Muffler Men—that he was moved to the Farnham's property in pieces, on two flatbed trucks.

They added a Big John statue soon after the Brian was delivered, and a (questionably styled) UniRoyal Gal (the sixth I’ve seen) joined their family in 2008. Michelle Sommers, a local artist, works with the Farnhams to restore some of the statues and periodically gives them a fresh coat of paint (her handiwork is particularly noticeable on the totally woke Big John, the second of only a handful remaining that I’ve seen).

The Muffler Men—yes, they have another one in the back of their yard, a plaid-wearing Bunyan with visible chest hair like the Camp Bullowa Bunyan—are anchored in concrete so they’ll be in Unger for a while. On the other side of the house are even more statues, including a roly poly hamburger guy, a train full of Simpsons characters, a small dinosaur, seahorses, a shark and several clown heads.

The Farnham Colossi is probably not a main destination for many people, but it’s a total goldmine if you seek out Muffler Men and other big, fiberglass statues like I do (even if the sun was in an awful position for photos when we arrived). Unfortunately, the Farnhams weren’t home when we visited but, according to a neighbor, they love visitors—which is the only logical position to take when you have such a large, whimsical collection.

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The Farnham Colossi
14633 Winchester Grade Road,
Unger, West Virginia 25411

Koolwink Motel

The Koolwink Motel, located in Romney, West Virginia first opened in 1936. The Koolwink Tourist Home, as it was called then, sold at public auction in 1955 to the original owners’ great-nephew and his wife, and they—Wallace and Pauline Mauk—still own it today. The motel was expanded in the ‘50s and ‘60s, and now includes several small buildings, including an annex on top of the hill (where we stayed).

Romney, West Virginia is a small town established in 1762, making it one of the oldest towns in the state. The Koolwink seems to be a bit out of the way no matter which direction you’re coming from or headed to, but when my friends stayed here on a trip out west last year I put it on my wish-list. Luckily, when my mom and I started planning our August road trip, the Koolwink fit in nearly seamlessly with our plans.

We didn’t explore anything around the Koolwink, but I’m also guessing that we didn’t miss much. Directly across the street is a bowling alley, but we had to drive nearly an hour the next morning before we reached a suitable diner for breakfast. The rooms are very large in a way that you almost never see in modern hotel rooms, and although most of the furnishings are solidly vintage the room was spotless. The Koolwink claims to be “a modern facility with a retro feel,” which is the best combination in my opinion.

Whoever is in charge of branding at the Koolwink really nailed it, and their dapper, winking mascot is everywhere—on outdoor signage, the shower curtain, ice bucket, notepad and complimentary mints. I couldn’t resist buying a mug, which cost a very reasonable $4 and brings a touch of mid-century class to my morning coffee.

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Koolwink Motel
24350 Northwestern Pike,
Romney, WV 26757
304.822.3595 (call for reservations)

World's Largest Teapot

Before my recent trip to Ohio, my uncle emailed me to tell me that if I had time, I should go to Chester, West Virginia to see the World's Largest Teapot. I feel like a hack that I had no idea that the World's Largest Teapot was located just 1.5 hours from my hometown, but I'm happy that I got to visit it so soon after being alerted to its existence. 

The World's Largest Teapot wasn't always a teapot—it started out its life as a wooden root beer barrel for Hire's Root Beer. William Devon purchased the barrel in 1938, added the spout, handle and covered it in tin. The teapot stood in front of Devon's teapot store, and it was set up to sell souvenirs and concessions. 

It transferred hands a few times throughout the years, but remained open until it was abandoned in the 1980s. In the early 90s, the telephone company that owned the land offered the teapot to the town of Chester (just over the border from East Liverpool, Ohio), and it was restored and moved to its current location. 

The teapot is approximately 14' high by 14' wide, and sits next to the Jennings Randolph Bridge Ramp, at the junction of State Route 2 and U.S. Route 30. Because its in the middle of a high-traffic area, it's a bit hard to get to—you have to park at the gas station across the street and dart across traffic. My grandma didn't really understand why we would drive so far to see a big roadside teapot—and I wish it still sold souvenirs and concessions (candy, hotdogs and pop) or that you could go inside of it like The Big Duck—but I definitely think it was worth the trip.