How I Spend the Christmas Season
Stores start putting out Christmas merchandise in October and I'm like:
Then people start lining up weeks ahead of time for Black Friday sales at places like Best Buy and I'm like:
I hear about stampeding moms at Wal Mart and I'm the one person that's like:
My Uncle and I go Black Friday shopping in a heavily-Jewish area of town, which is usually deserted and we're like:
But then I see someone headed for the same thing I want and I'm like:
For the next week I get approximately two hundred emails containing the words "cyber Monday" and I'm like:
But then two people buy something from Blue Carrot Shop and I'm like:
Then I realize I have extra money in my PayPal account and I'm like:
I fill up online shopping carts only to be mere pennies away from receiving free shipping and I'm like:
Then I add and subtract items until I've spent exactly enough to get free shipping and I'm like:
Then I realize I've hit my spending limit for each person and I'm like:
Then I buy even more things because:
Then I decide that I'll just make cookies for EVERYONE, which ends up looking more like this:
Then I wrap my gifts and put them under the tree, and my cats are like:
Then Christmas comes around and while I'm hoping it looks like this:
Thanks to climate change it's been looking more like this:
Then I pass out my gifts and I feel like:
Until someone gets me something way less awesome then the gift I gave them, and I'm like:
And spending time with our families always starts out like this:
And ends up like:
And after eating ALL OF THE THINGS, I pledge to eat better for the New Year, which starts out like:
But pretty soon I'm right back to being like:
NEED MORE GIF RECAPS?